"I choose to love thee... this day and everyday"
i'm confused about another person's confused relationship. that's me, bobo chided me before about me getting easily affected by things that my friends r going thru. i dunno why, mayb it's just becos i have a relatively peaceful n happy life, so when i see others unhappy, i feel for them...
love, trust and understanding are the cornerstones of a relationship, arent cornerstones supposed to withstand attacks? some people build up walls and start hiding the truth from their partner, to keep the relationship going. "what they dont know wont hurt them", we say. but dont we all realize that the very thing we hide to keep the relationship going, is the very thing that destroys the relationship?
at what point does a relationship become a marriage? It is surely more than signing a piece of paper, but really the meaning behind the 2 signatures on that certificate. a promise to cherish and keep each other, no matter how things change, to keep loving and choosing each other everyday for the rest of their lives. can we walk away from a marriage as easily as we end a relationship? is there anything in it more than that piece of paper? more than once I have come across men who've been married before who tell me, "dun get married, if u 2 really want to b serious together, just move in together..."
i am bound by my upbringing and faith against doing that. and deep within me, i uphold the holiness of matrimony, the celebration of the true and sincere love to be together. it is more than being romantic, it is a promise to be together in the real world, when things stop being romantic. this is what it should be.
but i cant help asking since when have things become so complicated? Do people know what they r getting themselves into when they marry? my dream is to become a wedding planner, becos more than being an end in itself, i truly believe the wedding is the beginning of a completely new life, a sacred vow between 2, to part only when death parts them. people dont get married when they stop disagreeing, the disagreements will go on. but getting married is about choosing to be together, despite current disagreement and disagreements to come.
More often than not, no... that's why i wan to be in this business, to make a difference to the business of getting married - tho i might end up persuading people they r not ready to get married... wahahhaha
I've been thinking and thinking, in a world where everything is changing - how do we ensure our love doesnt?
Thursday, March 02, 2006
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2 comments:
the rope which binds has 3 strands instead of 2 =)
Wanted to write you a reply but decided to come here to read about you first and was intrigued to comment.
Ideals grow with wisdom, as does wisdom with experience. You may think that love lasts forever but seriously, that’s a classical wrong way of seeing it. As you progress from one stage of love to another, from courtship to the first taste of mutual love, stability, settlement, bliss, family building - the intensity and direction of love changes. From a world where you have only each other to shower your love to, it becomes extended to encompass more, your kids, your in-laws’. Love in itself, takes on a whole new definition as it progresses from one stage to the next. It matures; it doesn’t stay the same forever. Thus, the love you experience now may not entirely be the same as the one you experience in the later stages of your couplehood. Only through marriage can you truly experience the meaning of love over time. Marriage? It’s but one of the stages in love. It’s a matter of choice whether one wants to go through it, but let’s face it, without marriage, where does love progress to? Sure, it can remain in one stage where both parties are in sweet bliss, unbounded by the rules that come with the institutionalisation of love. But do our lives halt at this one particular stage? More importantly, do our youths come to a stand with this decision? Can our ideals of love remain where they are with the decisions we make, or do they evolve like we all do? It’s not that we choose for things to become complicated, neither do we plan for a marriage to become more than what we think it is, it’s just the nature of things to come, and all because this is but our first hand experience with marriage, isn’t it? Well, it may become less complicated with a second one, but that is yet again another whole new realm of things.
So, things are really not as complicated as you think they are. It’s just how they are supposed to be. And love does change with the world; it’s just a matter of how you achieve a balance amidst its interactions with life’s other elements.
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